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Desis cope with silent stigma around mental health

It can be hard to seek help or even pursue careers in therapy.

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The South Asian experience is often described by one word: resilience. More than 44 million people from Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan and Sri Lanka live outside of their homeland, taking with them a unique blend of cultures and religions that shape their identity in a new world.

This journey poses challenges from cultural assimilation to discrimination, which can cause stress, anxiety and depression. Yet the stigma surrounding mental health within the South Asian community prevents individuals from seeking professional help or even pursuing careers as therapists.

Mental health professionals say New Jersey’s South Asian community is dealing with anxiety, grief, trauma and substance abuse — and that these challenges are often going unaddressed. 

“Western ideas of mental health are more for yourself, you do things for yourself and your own mental well-being,” said Dr. Shehara Yoosuf, a clinical psychologist in Chester County. “But collectivist cultures see it as, ‘You should put your things aside and do things for the family.’”

Asian Americans are 50% less likely to seek mental health services than other racial groups, according to UCLA Health.

Since resilience is highly valued by Desis, showing signs of mental instability can be viewed as weakness, noted Jagkirpal Channa, a Philadelphia-based marriage and family therapist. 

It took Nazia Haque considerable effort to get her family to understand her challenges as someone diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Through her personal experiences, she has grown passionate in advocating for mental health awareness within the Bengali Muslim community in New Jersey.  

“I had to break a barrier with my parents,” said Haque, who is a student at Temple University. “Anytime I would tell my parents ‘I’m sad’ or ‘I’m feeling depressed’ my mom would always say, ‘What do you have to be depressed about, we give you everything.’ She would say to pray or to make dua and Allah will help me, but that was not what I needed.”

Haque said it helped that her father had dealt with anxiety, and he was able understand her struggle. 

“But even with my dad, he didn’t want to accept that something was wrong with him,” she said. “He doesn’t go to therapy.” 

This doesn’t come as a surprise to Yoosuf, who specializes in treating mental health and behavioral disorders in children, teens and families.

“I think previous generations were like this because of that stigma, generational trauma and the belief that mental health is not real,” she said. “They don't know how to seek help, and they don't really want to seek help because they don't want negative attention.”

Yoosuf noted that the collectivist nature of South Asian culture also makes it difficult for individuals to prioritize themselves. In a collectivist culture, there is an emphasis on community and valuing the needs of the greater good. If someone is suffering with mental health, they are told to “just get over it” and focus on others. 

“In order to take care of your family and be there for your community, you have to take care of yourself,” she said. “I think that's kind of the generational gap that people are not recognizing.” 

When it comes to sharing mental health struggles with family members, many South Asians feel isolated and lack the support to share. For those who seek out therapy, the lack of cultural understanding among mainstream therapists can also make it difficult for South Asians to feel comfortable sharing their experiences. 

“​In general, minorities feel more comfortable with a minority therapist, because they feel like that they don't have to explain the minority struggle, like prejudice, racism, stereotypes,” Yoosuf said. “They can surpass all of those things and just be honest and open instead of explaining themselves.” 

Despite the need for South Asian therapists, the stigma surrounding mental health in the Desi community also prevents individuals from pursuing a career in psychology, which many don’t consider to be a hard science.

Harsimran Kaur is a fifth year doctoral candidate at Immaculate University. She is a licensed professional counselor in Pennsylvania and has written various books on the importance of cultural awareness and mental health advocacy. Originally from India, Kaur pursued a career in the field because of the lack of representation within the Indian community. 

“In a lot of countries and in a lot of cultures, we value medical models more, and in other cultures we value talk therapy,” Kaur said.  

Dismantling the stigma is difficult and will take time, she added. Desi therapists are helping the community foster open conversations and understanding, which is slowly enabling individuals to seek help without fear of judgment. 

That's one thing that we need to advocate: It's fine if you're depressed, just talk to somebody about it,” Kaur said.

Mariyum Rizwan is a reporting fellow for Central Desi.

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